There is tired, and then there is menopause tired.
You know the kind. The kind where you wake up already feeling like you’ve run a marathon. The kind where your body feels heavy, your brain feels foggy and even the thought of making a cup of tea feels like a fairly ambitious task.
And perhaps the most frustrating part is that you may not even know why you feel so exhausted.
You went to bed at a reasonable time. You haven’t necessarily done anything particularly strenuous. You might even have had a relatively good night’s sleep. And yet, you still feel completely and utterly drained.
So, is it menopause… or are you just tired?
When tiredness feels different
Most of us understand what it feels like to be tired. A late night, a busy week or a stressful day can leave us feeling worn out. Usually, a good night’s sleep or a quiet weekend helps us to feel a little more like ourselves again.
Menopause related exhaustion can feel very different.
It can feel constant. It can affect your concentration, your motivation and your ability to manage things that you would normally deal with without a second thought. You might find yourself forgetting words, struggling to focus or feeling overwhelmed by everyday tasks.
You may even begin to question yourself.
Why can’t I cope? Why am I so lazy? Why does everything feel like such an effort?
And this is where many women can find themselves blaming their character for what may actually be a combination of hormonal changes, disrupted sleep and the emotional and physical demands of menopause.
The sleep problem
Of course, sleep plays a huge part in how we feel. Unfortunately, menopause has a rather irritating habit of disrupting it.
Hot flushes and night sweats can wake us up. Anxiety can make it difficult to switch off. Hormonal changes can affect sleep patterns and sometimes we simply find ourselves wide awake at 3am with a brain that has suddenly decided it is the perfect time to replay every conversation we’ve had since 1998.
Even when we do not fully remember waking up, broken sleep can still leave us feeling exhausted the next day.
And when this happens night after night it can really begin to take its toll.
You are not lazy
One of the things we hear so often from women is that they feel guilty about their exhaustion.
They feel like they should be doing more. They compare themselves to other people. They remember how much they used to manage and wonder why everything suddenly feels so difficult.
But feeling exhausted does not make you lazy.
It does not mean you are failing or that you have somehow lost your motivation. Your body is going through significant changes and it is okay to acknowledge that those changes may be affecting how you feel.
Sometimes, the most helpful thing we can do is stop fighting our exhaustion long enough to actually listen to it.
What can you do?
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to menopause fatigue. For some women, exploring treatment options with their GP may be helpful. For others, looking at sleep, stress, nutrition, movement and the demands being placed on them can make a difference.
The important thing is not to simply dismiss how you feel.
If your exhaustion is persistent, affecting your daily life or accompanied by other symptoms it is worth speaking to a healthcare professional. Menopause may be part of the picture, but it is important to consider other possible causes too.
Most importantly, please try not to turn your exhaustion into another reason to criticise your ways.
Perhaps you are simply exhausted and it is time to start listening to what your body is trying to tell you and go easy on yourself.
